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Joke of the Day

"Ever see the movie human centipede? That movie sucks ass."

"I tried calling in sick for work today. Apparently being ""sick of work"" isn't an illness."

"There there password. I don't think you're weak."

"Get all the protein you can before you die because there's no whey in Hell"

"I went for a job interview last Tuesday and was asked to describe myself in three words. ""Violent when disappointed,"" I replied. I hope to get the appointment letter on Monday."

"What did the Exponential Equation say to the Linear Equation? Real graphs have curves."

"A Person With Autism Walks Into A Bar ""Ouch"" he says."

"Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin looks at the other one and say, ""Oh my god we're gonna die in here!"" The other muffin looks back and says, ""Holy Moly! A talking muffin!"""

"What is a bacteria's OTHER favorite dish? The PETRI dish!"

"I met this guy named Times New Roman... But he just wasn't my type."