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Joke of the Day
"What concert can you go to for 45 cents? 50 Cent ft. Nickelback"
Next Joke
"What's the most sensitive part of your body when you masturbate? Your ears"
"""We're out of options, I'll have to use the jetpack,"" I said, strapping on the jetpack and ignoring many non-jetpack options still available"
"I estimate 70% of my work conversations are just me quoting made up statistics."
"Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you're really clingy and annoying"
"A mom walks in on her daughter getting it on on the couch with a boy. ""Well, I never!"" the mother huffed. ""But mom,"" the daughter protested. ""You must have!"""
"Annoying guy trying to hit on me: This is like a scene from a romantic movie. Me: Yeah, I'm the iceberg and you're the Titanic. #Queen"
"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist!"
"If I were Zorro, I'd hand out business cards with a Z on them. That way I wouldn't have to take my sword everywhere."
"What do you call a bear in the rain? Drizzly bear."