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Joke of the Day
"I estimate 70% of my work conversations are just me quoting made up statistics."
Next Joke
"It sucks being a dick. Your best friend is a pussy, and your closest friend is an asshole.*a real asshole*"
"Q: You are traveling into the past, what one thing would you bring back? SEXY. I am so getting an A on this History paper."
"My wife's sexual fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time. I think she misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman."
"I just hope this Justin Bieber thing doesn't make all yellow Lamborghini owners look bad."
"Where do Mathematicians sail? Indices."
"What is a difference between Jesus and a Picture of Jesus? It takes one nail to hang a picture."
"Him: I really like your car Me: Thanks! H: What is it? Me: Uh......black?"
"Wanna hear a joke? Lifetime movies."
"What's the worst thing you can hear when your giving Willie Nelson a blowjob? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""