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Joke of the Day

"I estimate 70% of my work conversations are just me quoting made up statistics."

"what is harry Potter's favorite ice breaker? Scar Stories."

"What is the saddest Olympic sport to watch? Water Polio"

"In Soviet Russia, Turkey shoots you."

"The economy is so bad... even the rope splicer can't make ends meet."

"You can't be ugly and play hard to get, you are already hard to want....."

"People who grew up in the 50's will get this. I was 15 before I realized that there was no reason why women's slacks had the zipper on the side."

"Whenever I'm alone, I like to dig a hole in my backyard, remove all my clothes, go inside that hole and pretend that I'm a carrot."

"What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire"

"What's that one room zombies can never enter? the LIVING room"