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Joke of the Day
"Drink responsibly? Responsibility is why I drink."
Next Joke
"My ex girlfriend was obsessed with my balls... I had to weiner off it."
"An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... ... and the barman says ""What do you think this is, some kind of joke?"
"I'm leaving you for an NSA officer ""I'm leaving you for an NSA officer,"" she said. ""But why? What does he have that I don't?"" ""He listens to me."""
"[NSFW] Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks"
"I will put you in your place. -me to everything because OCD"
"ME: Off to the concert with my friends WIFE: Say hi to everyone for me [later] ME [individually saying hi to 10,000 ppl] This is exhausting"
"Did you hear about the blind porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!"
"Mariah Carey'a New Year's performance. That's it..."
"The cats told me the reason we only have one life is because we're too stupid to handle nine lives. I believe this is true."