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Joke of the Day

"I was feeling great about myself when I saw my number on the womens bathroom wall 'for a good time'. Then I recognized my hand writing."

"What's the first thing you know? Old Jed's a millionaire."

"(All credit goes to my 4 year old niece) How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentickles!"

"Once a person turns 60, the ""reply all"" feature should no longer be available to them when sending emails."

"What are Kierkegaard's two favourite fruits? Melon and Broccoli!"

"what do you call a 9 year old african boy crying on his knees Midlife crisis"

"My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant. I can't take anything out in time."

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers but the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back"

"What is Donald Trump's Favorite Sport? *Deportes*"

"Some of you take selfies from so close up, I'm beginning to wonder if you're a T-Rex."