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Joke of the Day

"There's a cricket living outside my apartment. I'm all ""Cricket, it's winter, shouldn't you die?"" and he's all ""Chirp!"" and we laugh."

"I have a joke for you. /r/Jokes"

"Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out."

"The best 5 seconds of my life are when I wake up and have no idea I'm a human or have responsibilities."

"What do you call 10 lepers in a swimming pool? Porridge"

"Why Aren't Elephants Allowed On The Beach?... Because they always blow their trunks off!"

"On Reddit you get crucified for not checking your facts... But on Tumblr you get beheaded for not checking your privelage."

"Trouble brewing at Symphony Hall. It's the bottom of Beethoven's 9th, and the bassists are loaded."

"So, I was bragging about watermelons look like to my friends now she says we cantaloupe."

"What do you call a generalization made by a farmer? An overall statement."