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Joke of the Day

"What is ""moving and walking straight""? Four words. Edit: when do I kill myself."

"How did Moses make his tea? Hebrews it"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into your mouth."

"Our wedding pic looks like my wife's selfie photo bombed by me."

"I got fired from my office job for misunderstanding the meaning of 3 hole punch."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a computer? I give a shit when my computer crashes"

"[tv interview] I'm with Amy. Her house was damaged by the floods, how are you? [cut to Amy crying] MORE LIQUID IS THE LAST THING WE NEED AMY"

"I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark."

"Don't let an extra chromosome get you down."

"There's a guy in this Taco Bell bathroom stall so loud I'm not sure if it's performance art or a solstice goat sacrifice."