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Joke of the Day

"I said to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hairback Apparently thats an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient"

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"Sit in Starbucks and scream into your phone, ""What we need is fresh screenwriting talent! An unknown! Where on earth can we find it?"""
"Humpty Dumpty had a good Summer... But he had a *great* Fall!"
"My girlfriend said I talked just like Justin Bieber... ...I said, ""What do you mean?"""
"Does anyone want to buy grilled cheese? http://miami.craigslist.org/pbc/evs/5494716931.html"
"The idea that someone would be upset NOT to be invited to a wedding is so confusing to me."
"What's Charles Dickens's middle name? Deep"
"""You fancy my best friend, don't you?"" asked my wife. ""If given the choice..."" I replied, ""I'd rather have sex with you then her."" ""You mean 'than'."" ""No."""
"[a spider watching soccer when someone kicks a ball into the net] hell yeah, now eat it"
"If I had a dollar If i had a dollar for every time a homeless guy asked me for money, I still wouldn't give him any."
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