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Joke of the Day

"My 6yo's homework today is learning how to count backwards. Yep that teacher knows about DUIs alright!"

"What is the only inedible part of a vegetable? The wheelchair"

"It's so cold outside that the hookers downtown are charging 20 to blow your hands"

"Give me the best joke you have"

"My friend and I were playing 'biggest number', and for my number I simply multiplied his number by itself. I won fair and square."

"Being in middle management is like being a toilet seat... Look up and you see a bunch of arseholes, look down and all you see are shits."

"[Job interview] ""What would you say is your greatest strength?"" ""Sticking my fingers in people's mouths."" ""Arhghv-um-hirv-ok-hrbsj-hired"""

"I just put the L earbud in my right ear and the R in my left ear and every punchline I came up with for this joke sucked ass."

"What's the difference between a computer program and global warming? One's an algorithm, and the other's an Al Gore-ism!"

"What did one German wheat farmer say to the other German wheat farmer? Gluten tag"