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Joke of the Day

"CLEVELAND: We want a championship. DEVIL: ok, but you'll have to host the Republicans. CLE: ...Fine. DEVIL: Trump's the guy. CLE: We want 2."

"Whites are now a minority in California you could say there is Juan too many Hispanics."

"Fun prank: Tell an English major how ""impactful"" something is."

"Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You're welcome."

"Greece just demanded royalties from all countries in the world for using democracy ""As for Russia, they don't have to pay us anything""- Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras clarified earlier today."

"The detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was. It was a brief case."

"A philosopher says to the linguist... ""What if, instead of periods, woman had apostrophes?"" The linguist replied, ""They'd be more possessive and have more frequent contractions."""

"I don't get you Vegans. If cows didn't want to be eaten, they'd move faster."

"Star Wars has given me unrealistic expectations of who my father is."

"Two penguins are taking a bath together... ... One penguin asks the other penguin, ""Hey, could you pass the soap?"" and the other one says, ""Whah do I wook wike, a typewhita??"""