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Joke of the Day

"Oh man, this whole time we've been trying to stop SEAWATER from gushing into our OIL. Stupid Terry was holding the diagram upside down."

"I was working at the butchers yesterday and a man comes in looking for a small chicken. I asked him to describe it so we can look for it together."

"Whats the Difference between Acne and A priest? Whats the Difference between acne and a priest? Acne wont come on your face unil youre 13."

"[In Club] *slides up to girl on dance floor ""This is my jam"" *hands her a jar ""I wrote my number on the label. Text me if you want more..."""

"If guns don't kill people, people kill people, Then it must also be true that toasters don't toast toast. Toast toast toast."

"If A-B-C-D didn't drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn't have to be so rushed."

"Due to my lack of sexual experience... I prematurely ejaculate every time I watch a baseball game."

"Take your ex out tonight (one bullet oughtta do it)"

"What does the hippie bum say when you tell him he can no longer sleep on your couch? Namaste"

"Sad to think this is the tallest I'll ever be, barring some kind of awesome mutation."