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Joke of the Day

"Just unzipped skirt and my real stomach poured out. Exercise my sister says but life is too short to be running when nothing is pursuing you"

"How is a women and peanut butter the same? It takes a lot of coaxing to get them to spread when they're cold"

"Well played, super clean sliding glass door I thought I'd left open. Well played."

"What happened when the Mrs. Smith's truck collided with the Tastykake truck? Pyrex"

"Put the punchline in the title What's the best way to ruin a joke?"

"My wife keeps complaining about her nine to five job I must admit, 4:51 is a strange time to start work"

"The word tag is confusing. It can mean spray paint or touch someone & they're it. Either way, there's a purple kid in my neighborhood now"

"When ever My wife is cooking, I like to walk up behind her, slowly stroke her hair and whisper into her ear... ""Let's order a pizza."""

"Hoe many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Swan."

"Wanna know my secret to rock hard abs? I ride the mechanical duck outside the grocery store 300 times a day."