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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a cross between a human and a monkey? A nigger."
Next Joke
"Kim Davis says war has been declared on traditional marriage. Still unclear is which of her four marriages is under attack."
"What is Gollum's favourite bird? A Smeagull! :D"
"People come up to me all the time in the street and they say to me, they say, ""Joe, what's the difference between Hag Shavuot and Hag Ha-Katzir?"" And I say to them, I say, ""Oh, about fifty bucks."""
"When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......"
"Nothing makes me second-guess my language like a little voice chirping, ""Mommy, I found your freaking measuring spoons."""
"New music is so bad you should be cool like me: longing for a fictionalized version of the past you werent even alive for in the first place"
"Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don't want to look at you."
"What's musical and useful at the grocery store? A Chopin Liszt Note: taken from one of those horrible ""Joke of the Day"" desk calendars. It took almost 12 months to get something clever."
"My friend is looking for a single, normal, well adjusted man. I told her to avoid twitter."