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Joke of the Day

"The story of a heroic husband .... Wife to her husband - How do I look? I just came back from the beauty salon.... Husband - Well. Was it closed?"

"Life is too complicated in the morning."

"The Illuminati doesn't scare me They never even kill anyo"

"Advent calendars Their days are numbered."

"Republican luminary Sarah Palin. If I have to explain then its not funny. If I have to explain then you most likely voted for the Republican luminary Sarah Palin."

"I don't usually spank the kids while we're in Walmart but yours were just asking for it."

"Why are ET's eyes so big? He got the phone bill"

"How can you tell if a person's a vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"Have you ever had sex while camping? Its fucking intence."

"My new bondage equipment really ties the room together."