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Joke of the Day

"*Showing me a picture of your baby* Me: Is that a dog toy in the background? What kind of dog do you have? What's your dog's name?"

"One of my ""100 things to do before you die"" would definitely be ""call an ambulance""."

"Why were the welder and stoner such good friends? They both love to spark up joints."

"What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck."

"Why do they call it ejaculate... when it's usually early?"

"Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter."

"The difference between a black man and a tire ? The difference between a black man and a tire is that if you put a chain around the tire it doesn't start singing rap."

"Q: What famouse Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hilary Clinton famous for? A: If you divorce your wife in Arkansas is she still your cousin?"

"I found a spider in my shoes today He looked so ridiculous they were way to big for him"

"me: wanna see my cat's shed? friend: lots of cats shed. why would-- [my cat enters wearing a tool belt] cat: show him the gazebo, too"