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Joke of the Day

"I found a spider in my shoes today He looked so ridiculous they were way to big for him"

"According to my FitBit, last week I burned 23 calories and my Ex's house."

"The ironic thing about the original Scooby Doo adventures was that the only real supernatural phenomena they encountered was a TALKING DOG."

"My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant."

"Once you go black you never go back... Fuck."

"why did the chicken cross the road 69 ahhahaaha"

"Q: How does an elephant climb a tree? A: He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up."

"What's the similarity between smoking a cigarette and eating pussy? The taste changes the closer you get to the butt."

"I brought my Beats headphones to work, and instead of being left alone, I've had 7 rap battles and am in the finals against A$AP Carol."

"One of the toddlers on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey. ICU baby, shaking that ass."