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Joke of the Day
"Why did the sailboat start exercising? It wanted to get into ship-shape. HA!"
Next Joke
"A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage.... The photon replies, ""No, I'm traveling light."""
"What's one thing that a beautiful woman and a jar of peanut butter have in common? They can both make me swell up to 3 times my normal size."
"Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces.. For example, I'm going to the liquor store and I'm scared that it's closed."
"""DOC TELL ME STRAIGHT"" doc: u got lou gherrigs disease *cops barge in* ur under arrest ""FOR WHAT"" cop: mr gherrig reported a missing disease"
"[argument w/girlfriend] HER: you know what your problem is? ME: no, *grabs pen and begins taking notes* but i'm about to find out"
"A baby seal walked into a club ..."
"If a man is alone in the forest and nobody is around to hear him, Is he still wrong?"
"Me: So what do you do? Date: I work with animals Me: *imagining an office ran entirely by golden retrievers in suits* Your job sounds fun"
"I gain a lot of calories when I go to nutrition class... because it's so damn dry."