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Joke of the Day

"So Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby and Bill Nye all walk into a bar... They all finish their drinks and Nye says to the lady behind the bar I'll cover the tab these two will give you their tips."

"A threesome with an older couple Girl: Babe come over Guy: Can't having a threesome with an older couple Girl: My parents are not home Guy: I know"

"What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday? aye matey!"

"I like to yard work listening to Judas Priest... ......singing at the top of my lungs: RAKING THE LAWN RAKING THE LAWN!"

"""Good parenting isn't giving your kid everything she needs, but giving her the tools to get it for herself"" I say, handing my 6yo a crossbow"

"*interrupts dinner ""IS THAT CLOCK REALLY YOUR GRANDFATHER!?"""

"Trainer: ""ok, lets warm up 1st....wait, where are you going!?"" Me: ""tanning bed"""

"When I first saw you from across the room, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you."

"What did the furniture salesman say when he wasn't happy with his haircut? Its a chaise lounge."

"Why do Jews watch porno movies in reverse? Because they like the part where the hooker gives the money back to the guy."