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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a magic owl? Hoodini"
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"Public speaking is the #1 fear of the average person. #2 is death. This means that at a funeral, more people would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy. -Jerry Seinfeld"
"A homeless guy asked me ""would you give me $5 for a sandwich?"" I said ""I don't know man, show me the sandwich first."""
"What do crocs and getting a blowjob from a guy have in common? They both feel great until you look down and realize you're gay."
"A rapist, a carpenter, and Alexander the Great walk into a bar They came, they saw, they conquered"
"Sorry to interrupt, but the personal story you're in the middle of telling reminds me of how much I love attention."
"What did the Olympic size swimming pool say to the kiddie pool? I can't be your friend anymore you're just too shallow!"
"What do you call a sleeping pizza? A pizzza"
"What does a North Korean ricochet sound like? PYONG! YANG!"
"[FIRST DATE] Me, opening mouth seductively: ""And this is where I burned my tongue on pizza, and this is where I burned my tongue on fries, a"