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Joke of the Day

"This morning someone phoned me and told me that I need to sort my fucking life out. It was quite a wake up call."

"What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch? Paddy O'Furniture"

"I once made an error in little league, When I signed up to play."

"Dig a hole all the way to China, poke your head out and yell ""YOU GUYS BUILT THIS SHOVEL IT'S A GREAT SHOVEL JUST WANTED TO SAY HEY!"""

"Why is it easy to break in to an old man's house? Because his gait is broken and his locks are few."

"[US] Mexican Submarine Destroyed in the Gulf of Mexico Oops wrong sub"

"If you were a hot chick. You probably just hatched!"

"What is the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster who got breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."

"If you ever find yourself being attacked by a gang of clowns... ...go for the juggler."

"The past, present and future walk in to a bar... It was tense."