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Joke of the Day

"Look, I don't know how else to put this but your baby is just hideous. We were all thinking it but I drew the short straw. More water?"

"The next time somebody complains about millennials, maybe remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hardwood floors."

"I tried to do an intense workout that involved 500 sit ups per day But my body couldn't take the ab use"

"Plane Related Joke I flew TransAtlantic last month. I couldn't believe it when I saw my old mate Jack on the same flight. I shouted out ""Hi Jack!"" And six Yanks shat themselves."

"What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon?"

"Chuck Norris opened the Ark of the Covenant and kept his eyes open. The Ark melted."

"I'm Scottish and my son is marrying a Jewish girl. I'm afraid their kids will leave me penniless."

"""Dad I'm gay..."" ""Hi gay, I'm dad"""

"2,000 calories of junk food costs just $3.52 a day. 2,000 calories of dense nutritional foods costs $36.32 a day. No wonder people are fat."

"But man says to the doctor: Wojak I am the pepe"