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Joke of the Day

"Buy an aquarium. Don't buy fish. Tell guests there are fish. Enjoy time spent not having to talk to guests while they look for fish."

"The government forcibly took over MarshallMathers.com They cited Eminem domain"

"Why are computers in Palestine really fast? Because they've got Ramallah."

"I understand if you aren't religious, I respect that. But you don't have to get all rude when I ask to use your first born as a sacrifice."

"Terminator sequels are just dialogue from the first Terminator in different order."

"I have degrees in Politics, Economics and Psychology. I don't have a job but at least I know why."

"Your LinkedIn says you have a job but your snapchat says otherwise."

"I won the lottery for a million dollars today so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. ... ... I now have $999,999.75"

"What do you call a Salmon that sets a good example? A roe model."

"Don't click this!!! Ahahaahahaha! Gotcha!! :P"