117133

Joke of the Day

"What shoe can fit 206 million feet in it? Honshu!"

"My phone just fell down a flight of stairs, but it's ok, it was in my pocket."

"Is Schrodinger's cat alive? Short answer: No Long answer: Yes"

"What is it Lassie? Timmy fell down a well? Earthquake in LA? The Russians are coming? You found a plane? No? ...Oh, you want another beer."

"NSFW Your dick's like Mt. Everest... it's hard to get up"

"Are spambots as flirty with everyone else or do I actually have a legitimate shot?"

"I once sent nude pictures to everyone in my contacts list. Not only was it embarrassing... It cost me a fortune in stamps."

"Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator? It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels."

"The worst mix of diseases? Alzheimer and diarrhea. You run but you don't remember where."

"I'll never become a vegetarian I think it would be a huge missed steak."