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Joke of the Day

"Cop at the gym just puked when he saw me do squat-thrusts. Said he hadn't seen anything that hateful or violent since the LA riots."

"Can you get HIV off a toilete seat? Only if it's already in use"

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She choked."

"I'm still a virgin because I'm waiting for someone special. I have a retard fetish."

"What did the bee call his military mission? ""Operation pollination"""

"[unzips fannypack filled with jellybeans and some fall out] Dammit [bends over to pick them up and the rest spill out] DAMMIT"

"My wife is like Pokemon Soon as I throw out my balls she runs off."

"Q: How many Ayatollahs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None-there weren't any light bulbs in the 13th century."

"Raped by a canadian A woman called the police saying she was raped by a canadian, the policeman asked how she knew he was canadian. She said he said sorry after."

"What do you call Christopher Reeve before the accident? Christopher Walken."