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Joke of the Day

"Raped by a canadian A woman called the police saying she was raped by a canadian, the policeman asked how she knew he was canadian. She said he said sorry after."

"How do you capture a polar bear? Cut a big fishing hole in the ice. Wait for the polar bear to bend over the hole to fish. Then run up behind the polar bear and **kick it in the icehole!**"

"Did you here about that concert where the frontman flung his crap into the crowd? The shit reeeeeeally hit the fan"

"I'm amazed how long I will watch a stupid infomercial, because I don't feel like reaching for the remote."

"Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China? They need clean air."

"A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else's, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat."

"Half of men in America watch porn everyday. The other half are liars."

"What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"HER [sits seductively on my lap] The more you tip...the more I'll take off ME [reaches for wallet] This is such a weird way to cut hair"

"Why do baseball pitches make bad doctors? Because when asked to 'give it to them straight', they throw a curveball!"