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Joke of the Day
"Au Don't you dare downvote. That joke was pure gold."
Next Joke
"You said that if I went to visit at the hospital I should be sure to take flowers. So, when the nurse wasn't looking, I did."
"I hate when people ask me what I see myself doing in 5 years...... I don't have 2020 vision"
"What do you call a blonde in the freezer? Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow."
"Apparently when I'm at Olive Garden I'm family. So why did they call the cops when I left without paying? My family never makes me pay."
"What do you call pasta from the hood? Spaghetto"
"The FedEx guy said I look like a sexy pirate. I'm not sure if that's considered sexual harassment or flirting."
"It's just a flesh wound... *looks down at hibachi knives I just pretended I was Master Chef with* *looks at bystander I just chop chopped*"
"HIM: Happy birthday, honey! I got you a gift basket, just like you wanted HER: Oh thanks! What's in it? HIM: What do you mean, ""in it""?"
"Can't trust anyone that refuses to admitnThey are wrong. nnSidenote: I do have a place to hide their bodies."