194450

Joke of the Day

"""So You Think You Can Keep Your Stupid Talent to Yourself and Stop Bothering People?"" would be a show I'd watch."

"Somebody stole my mood ring... I don't know how I feel about it."

"""There's a guy that jumped off the Pont Neuf!"" He must be in Seine."

"If Hooters had delivery, would they be called knockers?"

"too many moms aren't taking care of themselves, need to just laugh more, reddit moms, what makes you laugh?"

"If you piss me off in the grocery store I will get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check."

"My sex-life is like a Ferrari, I don't have a Ferrari"

"Last week I had to fire my lawn maintenance workers. They just weren't cutting it."

"ME: Then the robber came thru the door holding a gun COP: Was it a revolver? ME [thinks] No he just pushed it open & walked thru like normal"

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe."