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Joke of the Day

"By starring this tweet, you agree to my terms of service.* *Unlimited** free***, surprise butt sex. **Some limitations apply. ***Not free."

"I have to find a new personal trainer. He didn't do squat(s)."

"What's better than cheese? A cheese grater"

"When the pope dines with homeless people hes an amazing person. When I do it I'm just another homeless person."

"Testing new mobile phone Hello, i don't know if anyone is going to read this because i am using the internet explorer. But still i wanna wish you a good start in the new year 2010."

"Why does the court never make mistakes about rape? Because it's always black on white."

"When you're with the right person, you feel the perfect balance of happy and horny."

"""THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND ME"" - KANYE ""THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND WEED"" - WIZ ""THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AT ALL"" -B.O.B."

"Its funny how chocolate can make your clothes shrink"

"What is Drake's favorite type of alcohol? Cripple Sec"