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Joke of the Day

"I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough"

"Turtle 911: Whats ur emergency? Turtle: MY GIRLFRIEND JUST DISAPPEARED! 911: Have u tried looking in her house? Turtle: oops never mind."

"Ego and Super-Ego walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""I'm going to need to see some Id."""

"Every now and then I see something that brings a little tear to my eye. Last night it was my wife wearing her strap on."

"this joke off right. Oh! I wish I could go back in time and start"

"What do you call a German guy that measure horses Hands"

"The primary function of a necktie is to show the direction of a man's brain."

"My horoscope says I will meet the man of my dreams today. Not sure how my husband will take the news but I'm pretty damn excited"

"I'm lucky enough to be ambidextrous. It's just a shame I'm a lefty."

"Instead of expecting your wife to make you dinner every night like it's 1950, man up and develop a cocaine habit so you don't need to eat."