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Joke of the Day
"Why do sumo-wrestlers shave their legs? So they don't get mistaken for feminists."
Next Joke
"What do you get when you put two Beta Fish in the same tank? One Alpha Fish."
"I'm the Jason Bourne of avoiding people I know at Starbucks."
"Why is it so hot in a stadium after the game is over? Because all the fans left..."
"Monster now makes an energy drink which is part tea and part lemonade. The name of the drink is ""Rehab"", which begs the question... Is there something Arnold Palmer isn't telling us?"
"Heard this one at the bar last night: Women are good for 70 things... Making sandwiches and 69."
"Why couldn't The Doctor play baseball? They couldn't figure out Who was on first (Sorry, if this has been submitted before, im new here)"
"UVA did something King James couldn't do.... Brought a championship to the Cavaliers!"
"My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement, and by that I mean we're playing the lottery 3-5 times per week."
"The best kiss of my life was with a vacuum cleaner... ... it took my breath away."