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Joke of the Day

"[Bar] me: Gimme one more wife: I think you've had enough m: Last one w: Fine m: *asks waitress for another kids menu so I can do the maze*"

"CASHIER: its declined ME: run it again C: sir, is this one of those fake credit cards they mail out ME: no C: your name is ""local resident""?"

"What's Blue and not heavy? Light Blue."

"What do you call an electronic bowl? Ebowla"

"What is the slowest ship? A snail boat."

"Most people need a reason to drink, I need a reason not to drink."

"The Physics Department didn't like my Stephen Hawking jokes... ...They all got bent out of shape."

"What do you call a pig behind a car wheel? A ham brake !"

"Condoms Two condoms are walking down the street, where they pass a gay bay One turns to the other and says ""want to go inside and get shit-faced?"""

"*opens present HER: What is this? ME: It's The One Ring. I fought orcs for it. HER: They didn't have that Michael Kors bag I showed you?"