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Joke of the Day

"[Bar] me: Gimme one more wife: I think you've had enough m: Last one w: Fine m: *asks waitress for another kids menu so I can do the maze*"

"What duo were famous for stealing horses? Bonnie and Clydesdale!"

"What did the fish skeleton say? Long time, no sea."

"Tell me Jeeves, are lemons tweeting? -No,sir. -Well, it seems I squeezed the canary in my tea again."

"You know what's really odd? Numbers not divisible by 2"

"Why are crabs always tired? Because they sleep in snatches."

"What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to his wife when she cheated on him? ""May divorce be with you."""

"Girl are you a qwerty keyboard? Because U and I were meant to be together."

"My friend asked me if he was gay... I didn't know how to give him a straight answer."

"I just met a woman who told me she had ""trouble keeping weight on"" in times of stress. I ate her."