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Joke of the Day
"The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing"
Next Joke
"what do people in the German Alps say before they are about to do something crazy? YO-da-lay-hee-LO"
"What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor I'm sorry...."
"Burglar gently waking me... ""you live like this?"""
"NASA found methane on Mars! Proving once again that no matter how ancient a civilization is, it's farts that truly endure."
"To all new iPad owners. When you masturbate in front of your new device, make sure to put some porn on its screen to avoid embarrassment."
"What do u call a spanish man with a rubber toe? Roberto"
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to *WANT* to change."
"Why are millionaires bad at swimming? Because they drown at their own wealth Edit: I got down voted :( I thought of that in my head and just wanted to share it"
"As I looked at the liposuction tube I realized it could be used to strangle someone... ...making it a weapon of mass reduction."