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Joke of the Day

"What do you call five Mexicans on the bottom of a pool? Sinko :D"

"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."

"Where does Vladimir keep his shit? In a Putin"

"Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon."

"If I heard Matthew McConaughey only drank water out of a garden hose attached to the side of his house, I'd totally believe it."

"What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him? Donald, Duck!"

"Sometimes you have to cook ur own food and jerk off in front of your girl to show her that she can be replaced."

"Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of ""going to the gym in 2013."""

"Two sowing machines are sitting in a bar.. And one says, *""Are you a singer?""* Then the other replies, *""Why? Janome?""*"

"What is a tree's favorite drink? Root Beer"