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Joke of the Day

"Fell asleep next to a beautiful woman I met last night. I tell you what, she was PISSED to wake up next to a stranger... And that goes double for her husband."

"Height of Misunderstanding Wife not talking to Husband & Thinking that She is Punishing him..."

"Her lips said no, but her eyes said... read my lips"

"Highlighter pens are the future... Mark my words"

"I hired a prostitute to indulge my food fetish. She said that for $500 we could spend the night licking food off each other's bodies, although if I wanted guacamole it was $1.80 extra."

"A ""your mama"" joke for the books. Your mama is so stupid she puts lipstick on her forehead... Just to make up her mind."

"Our Great Dane has been causing quite a smell around my house. Whenever he barks I shit myself."

"What do you get when you cross an oven with a car? A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth."

"Good News For Pedophiles Halloween is here, so you can stop being so secretive about giving small children free candy."

"Q: Why was the cat afraid of the tree? A: Because of its bark."