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Joke of the Day
"What sport is played in Spanish churches? La Cross"
Next Joke
"[first day as a midwife] ME: Keep pushing! I can see the head! NURSE: You're at the wrong end."
"*deletes embarrassing drunk tweets *tweets embarrassing sober ones"
"If I had a time machine I'd take 17 dollars to 1901 and buy several luxurious homes. Related: does anyone have a time machine and 17 dollars"
"Why aren't cremations given out for free? Because you have to urn them."
"A man was writing a book with over 1,000 pages. It's too long of a story to explain why."
"some penguins also can't fly because of their previous statements on Hamas and Afghanistan"
"Roses are red, violets are blue.. No, wait.. Fuck, now they're black."
"Xerox and Wurlitzer are going to merge... They're going to market reproductive organs."
"My uncle always said I was too soft. But I just didn't fancy him."