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Joke of the Day

"I remember the last thing my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. I wonder how far I can kick this bucket?"

"For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back."

"Q: What do a Wendy's Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common? A: They were both cooked by a guy named ""Dave""."

"What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?! Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit?!"

"I don't think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking."

"You know you're old when you see the neighbor's dog chasing some punk teenagers & you root for the dog."

"Why do Indians hate snow? It's white and it's on their land."

"X: I hate when the cat just stands like that, frozen. Why does he do that? Me: He's on paws. X: ... Me: On... paws. X: I hate you so much."

"If everyone was like you the human race would lose faith in the world."

"I get all my indisputable political facts from what my uncle Harold posts on Facebook. Like did u know Obama killed the last living unicorn?"