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Joke of the Day

"How did Donald Trump get his tonsils removed? Vladimir Putin wore a spiked condom."

"So pinocchio was going down on a girl... The girl then says YEAH! Eat that pussy pinocchio get it!"

"what does cellphone reception and princess diana have in common? They both die in tunnels"

"Hmm... kkkk (too many) kkk (too racist) kk (looks like a typo) k (that'll work) Why you see my texting bubble for 10 min before getting ""k"""

"How can you tell if something is clickbait?"

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."

"I recently went to my doctor for a physical... Doctor: ""Everything looks fine but you need to stop masturbating"". Me: ""Why?"" Doctor: ""Because I'm trying to give you a physical""."

"Well this is new. A pigeon just shit on my phone as I was texting."

"Just once I'd like to make it through a game of mini golf without having to smash someone's windshield out with the putter"

"""Mmmm Brians"" - a dyslexic or gay zombie"