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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an insect with magical powers? A spelling bee."

"[At dinner with wife's friends] Me: may I chime in Wife: I swear to God if you brought your chimes- *my bag dings a little as I unzip it*"

"Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him."

"Fred Durst is starting a lawn care company. It's called Rake Stuff."

"Last night I woke up and saw the ghost of Gloria Gaynor... ... at first I was afraid, I was petrified."

"In the middle of a GOP debate, Scooby and the gang suddenly rush the stage. They wrestle Trump to the ground, struggling to remove his face."

"How do you a convert a number to a radical? You convert it to Islam."

"Always remember, there's someone out there for everyone... You'll probably never find them and die alone, but they're out there."

"My wife tried to make antimatter in the kitchen But she ran out of counterspace"

"I'd tell you a lame joke about getting slightly wet But I wouldn't want to damn-pun your mood."