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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you sleep with all 140 characters of twitter? A rashtag."

"Maybe this is the vodka speaking, but Hi! I'm made from potatoes!"

"What did one slice of bread say to the other at the end of a game of chess? ""It's stale, mate."""

"People who pull on the back of your seat to stand up on a plane/bus are worse than Jeffrey Dahmer."

"Homophobia is a sacred union between a man and his bigotry."

"What's pink and hard? The Financial Times crossword puzzle"

"What's the difference between your PC and your Penis? Usually its small, used often and you dont let just ANYONE touch it."

"Boy: Dad dad there's a spider in the bath. Dad: What's wrong with that? You've seen spiders before. Boy: Yes but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!"

"I was trying to recall what size shirt to get my friend the psychic, then I remembered.....medium, of course."

"The reason why there aren't much female superheroes is that you can't expect a girl to wear the same superhero costume twice in a month"