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Joke of the Day

"There was a man who said... ... ""I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late."""

"Sees cute guy in the parking. Drops something so I can bend over & do the sexy hair flip. Forgets I have short hair. He sees me as seizing."

"Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated aarrrh."

"16 and Pregnant? How come I didn't get my own show when I was 16? ""16 and smart enough to use a rubber."""

"CHRISTMAS TIP: When your kid starts asking questions about whether Santa is real, just tell him to shut up."

"When you wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are It's a ball of gas and fire It can't hear you."

"""You are what you eat"" I whisper to myself as I pour my dead dog's ashes into my cat's food bowl"

"So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I'm on Facebook, I don't have money or a life."

"What do Jewish pitbulls say to each other when they get home? Muzzles off!"

"SNL Gold: Domestic Violence A local county couple had an argument over a jar of salsa, which resulted in the girlfriend stabbing her boyfriend. But hey, you'd be mad too if he was jalpeno business."