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Joke of the Day

"My autocorrect just changed ""I'm off"" to ""I'm DTF"" and changed a casual conversation with my boss into an H.R meeting."

"""Contact Us"" Oh yeah, I'm gonna contact the shit out of you"

"Last week, Puerto Rico's Governor said that they couldn't pay their debt. From now on, the Island will be known as Puerto Pobre."

"What do you call post-modern Persians? PomIranians"

"What's a sailor's least favorite color? Maroon"

"I only date black chicks cause I hate meeting fathers.."

"What do you call an asian who hates black people? A member of the Kru Krux Kran"

"Just checked out Jian Ghomeshi's band Moxy Fruvous for the first time... Not bad. That guy can really keep a beat."

"What sound does an Italian American microwave make? Bada bing!"

"There's a man with two penises? That's nothing, I once knew a guy with FIVE penises... ...and his pants fit like a glove."