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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I found each other on a dating website.........3 years after we got married. That was awkward."

"I hate Russian dolls... They're full of themselves."

"I'm thinking 'FUCK YOU' real loud at the people around me right now & they don't have a clue. I'm owning them so hard & they have no idea."

"Harper Lee's new novel is a Mexican spinoff of her classic... Tequila Mockingbird"

"I was sitting in traffic the other day got run over."

"Confucius say... Difference between camping and being homeless is intent."

"Vets aren't doctors: Mom: Help! Is anyone here a doctor? Vet: I treat horses but maybe I can help? Mom: My son broke his leg! Vet: Ok hang on. My rifle's in the truck."

"""It's a boy!"" ...he screamed, ""it's a boy!"". Tears rolling down his face, and he vowed to never go back to Thailand."

"I like my coffee like my slaves... Free!"

"My wife said that I'm a lousy lover... How can she know that after only two minutes?"