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Joke of the Day
"Have you seen the new karate opera? Critics are calling it sensei-tional."
Next Joke
"What happens when your scrotum touches the edge of the toilet bowl? Ebowla."
"YOGI: Close your eyes and breathe. ME: [angrily rolling up my mat] I was under the impression this was a picnic and you were a talking bear"
"What is the name of Apple's revolutionary new product that allows elite pirates to see from their eyepatches. The iEyeCaptain"
"Why didn't Lebron go to college? he didn't want to show up for the finals"
"There once was a jealous zombie... But he ate his heart out."
"Why do Indians hate snow? It's white and it's on their land."
"[tweets about one side of an issue to my followers who all agree with me already] hell yes I'm making a difference"
"What did the headlines read after the midget fortune-teller escaped from jail? Small medium at large."
"What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it."