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Joke of the Day

"I dance in my car, unashamed, in hopes of one day driving beside somebody as fun as me and sparking a dance off."

"Asian gangs, also known as study groups.."

"Somebody called me pretentious today... I almost choked on my chai latte."

"Didn't have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 15 books and showered."

"I'm thinking about going on a day trip but I just don't know where to get the LSD"

"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot"

"My friend got sent to prison for pulling out 3 people from a burning building Unfortunately, it turned out they were firefighters"

"Why don't you buy your wife a watch? There's already a clock on the stove"

"AN OPEN LETTER TO COFFEE Thanks."

"Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow."