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Joke of the Day
"Why can't a T-Rex clap Because it's extinct"
Next Joke
"""we lost your dad during surgery im very sorry"" ha, hes always wandering off ""no he.."" *holds up one finger while on phone* dad ring me back"
"My girlfriend starting putting a miniature Sylvester Stallone doll in the middle of the bed a few months ago Things have been a little rocky between us ever since"
"Call-in sick every morning to somewhere you don't work"
"And then the penguin says to the bartender, this *is* my most casual outfit!"
"what travels around the world but stays in one corner? postage stamp"
"What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student? A philosophy student asks you *why* you want fries with that"
"What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats."
"When folks unfollow me shortly after they've followed me I just figure they sobered up."
"You think you're hardcore? Watch THIS! *Drinks vodka straight from the potato*"