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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend complained about my premature ejaculation So I told her ""A wizard never cums late nor early. He cums precisely when he means to"""

"What do you call a hooker who doesn't use protection? NSFW"

"[my dad and my 3 yr old daughter] Him: Hey sweetie how've you been? Her: I have a boyfriend Me: lmao *my daughter and I high five*"

"""Hello this is your captain speaking. I have fallen out of the plane yikes lol. Very impressed with the range on this Bluetooth headset tho"""

"What's grey, has one leg, sits at the end of your bed and takes the piss out of you? A kidney dialysis machine."

"Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

"A woman just asked me what 'mansplaining' is. I think it's a trap. We've been staring at each other in silence for nearly an hour now."

"[Justice League HQ] SUPERMAN: Looks like Batman is hungry tonight MOTHMAN: [visibly sweating] I think I'll just fight daytime crimes"

"I always cary a clump of my hair in my pocket so when people say, ""I like your haircut"", I can respond with, ""Thanks. Here, have some."""

"I'm going to create a social network called ""Selfies And Drama"" also known as ""S.A.D."" @MaleHonesty86"