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Joke of the Day

"Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers? They have short tales!"

"Groot asks a man for help, the man says... ""Hodor""."

"My wife didn't post an essay thanking our kids for making her a mom on Facebook and now child services is on the way."

"I've just found a Christmas present for my daughter in the loft. I'll take it up to her later."

"I told my mate that I couldn't make his wedding as I'm going to a brothel. ""You fucking arsehole"" he said. ""Depends how much money I have""."

"Why does Pinocchio lie? Because he's a fucking liar."

"Mrs Jones: Now remember children travel is very good for you. It broadens the mind. Betty muttering: If you're anything to go by that's not all it broadens!"

"What thinks the unthinkable? An ithe-berg"

"I rented a tuxedo then didn't need it. Do you know how hard it is to sublet a tuxedo?"

"My nonprofit for constipation awareness went bankrupt (at least half of you can guess the punchline)... because no one gave a shit!!! yeah yeah, I know where the door is..."