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Joke of the Day

"Police officer stops a speeding car and asks the driver.... Police officer: ''Can you identify yourself, sir?'' Driver(pulling out his mirror): ''Yeah, it's me.''"

"I just realized why my wife never posts on Reddit. She always has to have the last word."

"Why were Democrats in the lead early on? Republicans weren't off of work yet."

"Nice that after 17 years of marriage I can still have a sex dream about my wife. Last night the role of my wife was played by Jessica Alba."

"""I invented the cubicle."" - Someone hopefully in Hell"

"If you call a foreigner who wants to be Japanese a weeaboo and a foreigner who wants to be British a teeaboo what do you call a person who wants to be a Canadian? A Caribou"

"What's a fat kids favorite musical instrument? The lunch bell!"

"I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork... ...it spoons. She did not find it humorous"

"Yes it was my birthday. I'm going to start lying about my age, but say I'm older so people say how good I look for 47."

"Wife renewed me for another season."