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Joke of the Day

"If ISIS would really like the world to take notice of their intentions! They should kill a lion."

"Have you heard about the dyslexic robber who ran into a bank? He screamed: ""Air in the hands mother stickers this is a fuck up!"""

"If Mt Vesuvius erupted over us right now, there'd be lots of shapes of people looking at their phones later on."

"Did you hear about the misanthropic statistician? 100% of people can go fuck themselves. Told to me by a cab driver in New Orleans."

"I wanted to take a grad level Psych class on Freud, in my sophomore year. But the professor wouldn't let me. She said I was too Jung"

"Maybe I forgot to text back. Maybe it's Maybelline."

"Pythagoras was a skeptic... ...but now he believes in angles"

"An oldie but goldie! *How do you stop a charging bull?* ***Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! ~Skip"

"And the Lord said onto John, ""Come forth and you shall receive eternal life"" But john came fifth and won a toaster"

"Chuck Norris checks his facebook on a typewriter."