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Joke of the Day

"I am a staunch traditionalist. I believe that texts should only be sent from phones. Soon ppl will text from kitchen device. makes me sick"

"Who's the biggest celebrity in the Vegetable world? Ocra Winfrey"

"I took my prostate exam the other day and... So just last week I went for my first prostate exam. It was really difficult and I couldn't answer most of the questions"

"I finally stopped the annoying noise in my car. I just opened the door and shoved her out."

"Q: Why was the firewood punished? A: It was knotty."

"How do you get a woman to stop texting you? Reply to her message within a minute"

"How do you know that Ash Ketchum is a pervert? Because he always takes a Pik-at-chu"

"Comedy is all about timing, timing, and"

"Lindsay Lohan was released from jail early this morning and in related news, I still don't give a shit about her."

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing they were both stuck up cunts."